Pain During & After Intercourse

Pain during & after intercourse can occur from many reason's, so let's try and rule out a few. 
Pain can come from:
1. Lack of natural lubrication (Fingers & Penises are very pores, so even though you may be lubricated, if it's not enough the skin on skin can produce friction causing micro tears to the vaginal walls which can then lead to, irritation, discomfort and sometimes even bleeding)

Products that can help friction: 

  • Just Like Me - Water based, pH balanced lubricant. This lubricant is designed to mimic your natural lubricant with also a re-wetting effect in order for the lubricant to re-active over and over again to keep you well lubricated during intercourse. This also works for women who are going through menapoause, it can be applied in the morning and will keep going through the day to keep the vagina hydrated. 
2. Lack of arousal. Women need on average 15-20 minutes of foreplay in order to reach the peak of arrousal. The vagina needs to erect, just the same as the penis & if it isn't it can cause damage, just like vaginal tearing as you are trying to have something enter without being relaxed and aroused. 
Products that can help arousal:
  • O - Vanilla Cupcake - This product provides a tingle and has the blood pump through to the clitoris making it engorged and erect. "O" will take effect in minutes helping the arousal process jump a few minutes. 
  • Toys -  Toys can bring excitement to the bedroom but also help the arousal process. Toys that vibrate will hit certain sections of the clitoris in which a finger and penis cannot reach, making you feel sensations you would not normally feel. 
Desire comes from the brain.
Think about a few things:
- Have you been stressed latetly?
- Have you had pain the last few times you have had intercourse?
- Are you working more?
- Do you have children?
- Have you been sleeping?
- Are you on medication? or contraception?
1 thing is, you are not alone, it is extremely common to feel this.
Biggest thing is communication, ensure your partner that it is not them and you are wanting to improve you just need to find the right way for yourself (Not everyone is the same)
1. explore yourself, you need to know what you like "If you don't know what you like, how can you expect someone else to know" (it took myself 27 years to understand this and i had been with my partner for 10 years, i thought i was enjoying it but infact i wasn't, when i learnt what i liked and communicated that, i enjoyed it so much more)
2. Explore your turn on's whether it is Porn, Touch, Massage, Kissing, Music, Movies, Quality time etc you need to know your key points to what makes you turned on (for me it is kissing and my partner smelling nice)
3. Explore different things in the bedroom. For some of us it can start to feel like a 9-5 job in the bedroom. This is when you need to step it up a notch and try new things, whether it be a fun tastey lube that you can blind fold your partner with and have them guess the flavour while they lick it off you. Toys, sometimes these can give a massave boost in the bedroom, especially when you find the right ones. Enhancements that boost your libido giving you more feeling.
4. Our biggest sex organ is our Brain, alot of our sexual desire is based Mentally, so if you can't switch off or become aroused we generally have to re-direct our brain but also try and dig down to figure out what is stopping us from feeling and wanting.
For me, i experienced really painfull sex, i thought it was normal however i was not aware that my body was not producing Lubrication let alone Estrogen which was causing Vaginal tearing.
I didn't learn this from a doctor i learnt it from someone else.
I got off the Mirena and lowered my antidepressent (but also antihistamines and codine etc can effect lubrication also) this boosted my Libido extremely and my estrogen levels, i learnt that lube was my friend but i still lacked the drive and that was because i had a mental block as i was so scared of intercourse because in my head it was goingto hurt like all the other times. I started using enhancements and Lubes and then toys and learnt what i liked and i started to become comfortable again and i was able to enjoy intercourse without the pain.
Now i am excited for intercourse and i don't pretend I am asleep or not in the mood, i make an effort to start first and not my partner and our sex life has made a full 180.
Again, nobody is the same, but sometimes learning other people stories can help point you in the right direction.